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booforce:

my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you

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i-r-confused:

blenders-in-a-puppy:

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

the-mischief-manager:

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

cockringtoss:

ibeherpderpin:

highperactive:

cockringtoss:

my dick has a lot in common with the sun

nobody likes looking directly at it?

It gives people cancer?

woAh woah woah

It rises at the crack of dawn?

it disappears at night?

direct exposure often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?

it needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?

nobody will ever touch it? 

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you never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.

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bigrnac:

“everyone has their off days” I tell myself 15 days in a row

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